Sun kisses are my best kind of kisses. This post however, may have little to do with the sun or kisses. It’s about birthdays. I am on the run-up to my birthday and it feels especially special this year. I haven’t really figured out why though I suspect it may be because of how the new year begun. I was certain I would slowly creep onto my birth date but somewhere along the way, things changed and now I am marching into it, thereby setting the pace for the next year. It’s tiresome to creep around stuff, goals dreams and Love included. I need to be done and so in a post every 3 days or less I will be sharing new stuff I will be doing or just stuff out of my schedule that would not normally happen. I intend for the next thirteen days to be full of life quite literally and otherwise J. Other than being appreciative of the blessings I already have, I will be unearthing other blessings that are always around me. As I do that, I will be working on a personal project that I hope to share on the D-day. I thank you for your company for the last almost four years.
Love and Light.
Some days to take on the world
You need the color of the entire
Stretch of your skin
And your toenails painted pink
Other days the world asks from you
A peeping smile from the corner
Of your mouth
And laughter that ignites the soul
On Mondays, to take on the world
You need to ooze a ‘life-gel’ on your face
On your feet and thoughts
On all days, to take on the world
You’ll need to graze your soul just
Enough to bleed a bit and,
With the red of blood just, take on the world!
Midday blues rock our world in the morning
A revelation of life lived too soon too fast
Tattooed on our brains, unmarked and shelved
In our memories
On our backs the cross as Simon helped the saviour
We seek a saviour to help us, but the crowd is moving
To the front
The halo of the saviour
We are scared
Shoved behind by the crowd
At feet above us
As we lay dying.
I like spreading them slowly
We all like uncurling them
Letting them discover joy
Of freedom from their follicles
From underneath where they usually are
From the involuntary darkness introduced
In the arch between the thighs
Last night, was a dry night
Rainy and windy and no one was out
‘twas one of the few nights
That made me think of the people I lost
Back hunched with a cheap trench over my head
I walked along the back way alleys in hope
In the darkness that greeted, I hoped to find someone
Our network is strong
With respect to personal space physical space and just space
Every once in a while we fight over resources
Very so often we share the same and the tears and pain that follow
Sometime I look back with regret, but dealing drugs was the other choice
Stories too dark were told about that and the arch was my only option
So I invested in scraps of clothes that were sparkly and brief
I know the college dorms well, I reside there
I also know the hotel rooms well, I run a business.
I know the policemen well, I take care of threats
I also know the night guards well, I identify opportunities.
It doesn’t always go like I plan and sometimes my life is at risk
But I created a brand and that is what I protect
Just as I protect the product and service I offer
I checked out your shoes last night
Read the words spelt by the strings
Held crookedly by the tie you had made
I silently conversed with the treads that you left
Small marks of how far you had traveled
In a crack by the side of your left shoe
I saw how much you had let slip through
People you loved and those you didn’t know you had
I checked out your shoes last night
Watched your age in them, the tears I saw
Told me of how much you can take care of me
Not the Italian leather kind of way
But I saw some supra blood in your shoes
It startled me to think of you as young as
yet a man to be formed
It scared me more that I gave you years
that your shoes refused to recognized
I check out your shoes last night
And knew I wouldn’t see you again.
Fathers play a huge role in the kind of man a girl settles for. Many times a father may think that providing money is enough but that is hardly enough. The father is the first man the girl interacts with and this creates her first perception of the relations of ‘him and her’. By interacting with her father, the girl creates a ‘glass case’ of perceptions of what to expect from a man. Sometimes this case is full of misperceptions created in moments of uncertainty when the girl’s expectations are not met by her father. These expectations are mostly emotional. Fathers create a void by avoiding emotional stuff that the girl needs addressed. In the African set-up the girl is expected to bond with the mother who is supposed to tell her how to relate with boys and men and how to carry herself. What misses though, is the acknowledgement of the fact that the father is present and thus he projects a picture of the men a girl will meet in the future. If a father fails to acknowledge his daughter’s achievements then, two things may happen. She may look for approval elsewhere or become a cold individual who doesn’t particularly mind what people who care about her, think of her actions. This and other deeds reflect on the choice of men that the girl decides to go for. Most times this means they settle in relationships that do not make them happy but they still stay.
Recently, I was in that situation. I had created a perception so wrong about my father and as soon as I started working on my relationship with him, these perceptions were replaced by truths of who my father is. Our relationship for the last six years has seen tremendous growth and mutual respect and the better my relationship with my dad got, the worse my relationship with my exes became. They no longer reminded me of the man who has always been there for me. They instead reminded me of the man I had perceived in my head and this was a wrong representation of the reality.
The more I understood my father, the more I realized how badly he wanted me to make the right choice in a mate. It is constant in his subtle actions of how he treats us and our mother. I am learning to read the words acted out in acts of love. I feel lucky that I made this realization. There are numerous girls who fail to understand why they always fall for guys they have never dreamt of. Guys they would never settle for. Yet find themselves in a wrangled relationship that is headed no where.
For fathers reading this, your actions and words predispose your daughters to expect the same from men. It is important that you pass across a message that reminds them of their value and their worth. Mothers do a great job but the role of the father is equally important in ensuring girls grow up to be the daughter your grandchild would be proud of.